I only got maybe 4 hours continuous sleep. B woke up at 9 and cried until 12:30am. We tried everything, feeding, rocking, singing, dancing, the swing, turning on the fan, turning on the heater, white noise, co-sleeping, and changing her diaper. Nothing worked and she was wide awake the whole time. Argh. She finally went down to sleep when I turned on a combination of fan and white noise and put her in the crib after rocking her for 15 minutes. Then she got up again around 4am to eat. Another day and hoping she sleeps better during the day.

to be able to do this...

xkcd.com

Having a sick newborn and husband .

We're celebrating Christmas very low key this year. We somehow caught a cold perhaps at a wedding we attended last weekend. It's been more than a week and poor B is also suffering. Both B and I can't take anything for it so we rely on J alot. He's getting much better and so he runs the errands and makes our meals. I help around when I'm not tending B.

I've been lucky to have J at home with B at 4 weeks old I'm a bit tired, sleep is quite a luxury here...or at least sleep that is more than 4 hours. I was able to eat my lox on my bagels, went out with a friend for sushi without B, attended Thanksgiving dinner with B happy in family arms, J and I went out to dinner and brunch w/ B sleeping through the whole meal, and I've had a chai/latte/cap a couple of times. I'm waiting to having wine at Michelle's wedding in a few weeks. As for the foods/drinks I've missed, it was exciting to eat/drink them again but somehow I think these things will just be special treats and not something to indulge in. I notice caffeine messes me up, even a hot chocolate kind of puts me of in an overload feeling.

My next goal is to go drive on my own, go out with B on our own, and have a romantic dinner with J without B in the next month. Our first family road trip will be around the holidays.

We were having a challenge finding the right size changing pad to put on the Ikea Hemnes Changing Table.

Since it's not the typical 16x32 shape we had to check out all the baby stores for the different dimensions. Well after returning to BRU for God knows how many times and found the baby mattresses area stocked, we finally found Simmons Kids Vinyl Basket Pad in 13x29, a perfect fit. We'll just have to improvise on changing pad covers but it's it still wipes clean and is non-allergenic and the foam is pretty sturdy. The room is almost done so stay tuned for photos as we slowly get rid of more "stuff."

I'm into the long stretch of this 40 week journey. I can't believe I'm only 2 weeks away from being a mommmy. We're totally excited and can't wait. We went to my weekly prenatal visit and baby's heartbeat is healthy, she moves around quite a bit and definitely knows how to count the beat to the song Straight Cats(courtesy of J guitar practices). So all is well on the baby front.

Everyone I know who was due in October have had their babies already and I even have another friend who was due the day after me already in the process of having her baby earlier than expected. My health is pretty good with good scores on blood pressure and no weight gain. I've been taking it pretty slow these days. I think I can only handle about one big thing a day. Even attending a baby shower today for a friend I was so wiped out, I crashed when I got home. The biggest challenge right now is my carpal tunnel so holding a fork, pen, knitting needles, or anything small that requires that type of dexterity really hurts and I have to really concentrate to make something look somewhat legible or creative.

My projects were completed earlier this week and so I've been resting alot lately. I just have to get cracking on my B&A article so that I can hand it over before the baby arrives.

We're both in just a waiting pattern and getting pretty anxious. The bags are packed, we've read up on a few baby/sleep books, the carseat is installed, we've met with our doula, and have the freezer stocked with frozen meals. We still haven't really picked out "the" name but we know we'll figure it out when the baby is born.

So rest assured friends and family that we will email you details when the baby is born. The website is all setup courtesy of Babysites.com and we'll have baby photos and maybe even video up when everything is set in motion. We wish we could call everyone personally but that would be quite a challenge on top of just figuring out this thing called parenthood.

Waaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was tired so I went to bed early...about 9pm. I woke up hungry and wide awake at 2am..it's about 3:30am...will try to sleep again. A bit frustrating but I guess just in training for when Jeli arrives in perhaps 3 weeks!

Nursery pictures coming soon.

Ok do I buy more clothes for the baby or do I buy myself this tshirt?

Awwww! I've been awake since 5AM. I woke up with my hands hurting alot. So I decided to get up and watch early morning TV with my laptop closeby. Tried to eat breakfast and just take it easy but I feel super anxious, almost like I want to scrub the kitchen floor and all the kitchen pots & pans that need a little bit more of a shine. Who knows maybe I'll crash around 8AM. I can't believe I'm 4 weeks away...however a few have reminded me that it could be just as short as 2 weeks if Jeli is early.

I bought some great yarn with the intention of knitting Jeli a hat, booties and a kimono shirt. Unfortunately with my carpal tunnel pains my hands can't grasp knitting needles. Sometimes it's even difficult to grasp my fork and knife when eating. Argh! I wish I did the knitting months ago but I was hoping to use some free time to knit. Now I'm not sure what to do with myself while I wait 4 weeks. I guess baby laundry and organizing the room is all I really can do. Oh well.

Wearing splints on my wrists at night to reduce the arthritic pains in my hands, but it doesn't really help with the swelling. My feet are somewhat ok, no pain just can't get into my fun shoes, basically flip flops or open sandals the whole summer. I can't believe I've got less than 7 weeks to go.

We had a super fun baby shower last weekend with my church group. We even played games I didn't know this group would be really in to. All in all really fun and such cute presents for the baby.

Ok I've figured her all out now. I can tell my internal sleep clock has completed adjusted to the baby's clock. It seems that she definitely keeps me up every few hours at night, basically feels like she's training me to be on her schedule. So she starts moving around 11:30 until 1am, then again she's up around 4am for about 30 minutes, then up around 6:30am. I try to get a little more sleep and then she's up again around 9 or 9:30am. During the day I feel her moving around again after eating. This morning she obviously was up when I could feel my whole tummy area moved, as though she was doing some kind of whole body stretch. I felt 4 sides move at the same time. Woah what a way to be motivated to get up. So these days I'm probably getting 8 hours sleep in probably 2-3 hour intervals. It doesn't help that she's been kicking my bladder too. Jeff is convinced she may be into drumming and found a really funny onesie with a squirrel on the drums. I've thought of getting it but I'm trying to hold off on that type of stuff. Not very practical especially since the onesie is $17!

I was able to switch OBs in a different group so having a doula will not be a problem. I'm pretty excited about it and the stress went away very quickly. Been doing my pre-natal exercise classes on top of going to PAC. It's been really helping me keep my weight from getting out of hand and will hopefully help when I go into labor.

Yesterday we put the crib together. We've started piling all the gifts in there. We're still debating about the trundle still sitting in the room. With a glider/ottoman and changing table, the room is going to be super tight. My desk is in there still too and will be until I'm officially done with my work which will hopefully be end of Sept or early Oct. We were thinking of buying a car but I changed my mind since I'd rather have J stay home a few extra months after the baby is born. The Lexus is definitely more than enough space for the baby. But maybe when J goes back to work we'll upgrade the Civic ;) He's sill chugging along at LM.

More prayers for my friend who had her baby early. Baby M is doing super well and is in the NICU room that is for fattening up the baby. Hopefully she'll get to her target weight and accomplish certain skills to get her home soon to be with her family. Thanks everyone for praying for her.

I need prayers and good thoughts. Trying to get into a really good OB group that delivers at a really good hospital. Been stressed trying to get the process of transition from my current group and praying that insurance covers everything.

I've started going back to the gym on top of my pre-natal exercise class. Yesterday was a doozie, there were lots of young guys working out and I didn't even feel intimidated while working out. I felt like I could keep up with some slight modification. I didn't even feel sore when I woke up today. I guess I'm not so out of shape. I hope I can keep that kind of endurance when in labor!

A little stressed out since I've decided to switch OBs at 29 weeks. I really want to have a doula during delivery and the group I'm with have a policy of not working with doulas. It's quite strange since there are many good reasons to have one present. I know many women out there have had deliveries without one, but reading as much as I have recently I feel it would be beneficial for me, J and the baby.

I have a prayer request for my girlfriend who had her baby at 31 weeks gestation last week. Her baby was originally due just about 2 weeks before me. The baby girl is doing well and progressing quickly in NICU, but I figured more prayers for them will keep them moving along.

Argh!!!!! I really can't sleep with little one running a marathon when I should be sleeping!

Yes it is past 2am. I am awake. Very tired. However Baby Jeli seems to be practicing for the 2008 Olympics with all the sumersaults and tumbles she has been doing the past 2 hours. Of course it didn't help that I had frozen yogurt around 9pm. This is frustrating but I guess I will have to get used to these late night activities.

Don't limit yourself to maternity stores. Current fashions really are generous in cut for mothers to be. Some great finds recently have been H&M as well as Forever 21 in San Francisco. I would also recommend that you don't buy too many pieces at one time. You definitely grow in ways you'd never expect. Also don't get rid of pieces too quickly since after the baby is born in most cases you really can't get back into pre-preg clothes. Some women have been recommending I hold on to 2nd trimester clothes since those would be the most comfortable right after having a baby. However depending on the style and if you breastfeed, 2nd tri clothes could be a challenge.

I'm at 27 weeks and back working out in the gym including a pre-natal exercise class. I'm still doing consulting and a myriad of other activities. The baby has definitely setup a wake/sleep pattern and will need to document and compare for when she is born.

Been very tired after hosting 2 weeks of cousins from IL on top of writing an article for Boxes and Arrows and doing a couple projects. Just selling stuff to clear up space for the baby room and getting excited to start assembling the crib and other baby furniture. I've been tempted to buy the really good stuff but I also know that if they get scratched or damaged I'd be very upset. So trying to stay within a budget and surfing Craigstlist.

Don't get me wrong. It's not like I want to just whine and complain all the time about my pregnancy. I love my baby and I really like some of the fringe benefits of being pregnant...BUT yesterday and this morning were bad. I went to bed with swollen ankles and feet.

Of course the root cause was attending J's cousin's wedding in SF. Amazing chinese wedding....lots of food, lots of drinks, lots of lion dancing, some dancing...lots of waiting. I didn't get a chance to take a nap or get my feet elevated and I ended up with really swollen feet and ankles. It was a very LONG day. Lucky for me, J massaged my feet as I went to sleep.

...then the rude awakening at 7:45am a massive leg cramp. I was crying out in pain and you know how leg cramps go, you know what you have to do but it hurts so bad you don't want to move or relax...once again J came to the rescue to hold my foot straight to release the tension in my calf. After all that happen I realized that I'm such a whimp and if I can't even handle these slight discomforts(almost forgot the increasing backpain) I'm going to be a wuss when it comes to labor and delivery. Aiyaaa!!!!

So J and I decided we wanted to name our child starting with "B." It's been quite a challenge since we just don't know what the baby would like. I want to call her Tigger sometimes since she tends to bounce alot. But I thought I had a challenge. There's one little girl near London who has a middle names of famous boxing champs and another a kid whose parents want to name him '4real.' So we'll just wait until that moment arrives to see if one of several names fit.

Ok it was 8am and the house was already 78. Argh!

Top 10 places to hang out with A/C:
- Blossom Birth
- Movie Theatre
- Library
- Bookstore
- Indoor mall
- Friend/family house with a/c.
- BaySix Massage
- Drive around in car with a/c full blast
- Ice cream store
- Tea bar

Oh this is going to be a rough summer :(

So we began our vacation to Hawaii two weeks ago with some frustration. Enroute from home to the airport gate, I had lost the house keys. I was the last to leave the house. I know it was somewhere in my bag, or was it? We were the last group to board so I had J contact his sister and one of our neighbors to double check that I did not leave it on the door or dropped in on the driveway. So for two weeks I didn't know where they were. When we arrived at the airport I checked lost and found. A whole drawer full of Lexus, Mercedes, BMW, key fobs, including some key fobs that resembled security passes for buildings. Wow a whole drawer of 2 weeks worth of lost keys. To no avail mine were not there.

So we got a lift home and luckily J had his house key. We brought in all our stuff and headed out for late dinner. Unfortunately when we returned we had no house key and the door to the kitchen was locked. So J tried to get into the house and to our satisfaction the house is completely secure! But how do we get in, we called J's sister and we picked up our extra set at her house and came back home. What a crazy series of events, we start our trip losing a key and even after getting into the house we still had to face being locked out.

Well the last place to check was the transport shuttle we used, they had my keys. I'll be picking them up tomorrow.

Btw, 24 hour locksmith goes for about $125 in our area, which we didn't want to pay.

So far J has been declined at Wharton and Stanford. We're super bummed but now all we can do is pray and wait for Cal & Harvard.

Ok to my friends and family who have had children and would like to provide any kind of advice...please do so by clicking on the comments!

Oh the pain. I just can't stand it. I use letter openers and slather on the moisturizer, but somehow every week for the past 6 months I've been getting papercuts!!! Argh.

Starbucks in the middle of the Forbidden City
Krispy Kreme in Hong Kong

:)

Last Sunday I tuned in(online with tv tuner card) to a new reality contestant type show to cast the next Sandy & Danny for a Broadway release of Grease. I was pretty much just knitting and needed some background noise since J was out and I had free reign to make noise in the house. As I was getting halfway through a row, I hear the name Chad Doreck. "Hey!" I thought out loud. "I know that name." I looked up to see who was on the screen. It was someone who looked familiar but not quite.

I went to a Catholic parochial school in Long Beach, CA in the late 80s. Chad's brother Stephen was in my class. I think the last time I saw Chad he was probably in the 2nd grade? Well it doesn't matter, but the next day went online to look up his profile and it sure did confirm that this was the same Chad I knew when he was a little kid. I can't believe he's all grown up now.

Well I guess finally someone has stepped up to the plate to remind us that being good to the earth is not just about global warming and SUVs/car emissions but it could also mean all the fashions that end up in the landfills. I hope you take a moment to read about how throw away fashions are contributing to killing the earth. I think the biggest things that's difficult for me is drycleaning. I still have a few items that require drycleaning, but for the most part I hang dry many of our bulky items. I guess one thing I'm going to try this year is to loose weight(so I don't have to buy new clothes), and try to reduce the use of the dryer and not purchase items that require special washing care.

Can Polyester Save the World?(free reg required NYTimes)

So J just turned in GSB apps today. He's printing out his receipt as I type. I'm halfway on my knitting project too but battling a really bad right now. Argh! I doubt I'll be able to celebrate.

"Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense". - Gertrude Stein

In the past few months I've been actively reading Wall Street Journal. I wouldn't subscribe to it on my own since I was already reading IBD, however there are some really good articles and editorials in there and it didn't hurt that we were getting it for free since J took Kaplan GMAT classes. Oh and we also get Rolling Stone magazine. Thinking about it, that's a strange combination.

Well yesterday there was a really interesting editorial/commentary type article regarding the state of public libraries. If you're a librarian I think you'd get alot about what the writer was trying to say. He had alot of good points and I can really envision the library still being relevant but taking interesting topics in a community and developing a forum for discussion with speakers talking about things that matter. Sort of like the Greek philosophers teaching forum but heavy on bringing communities together. Almost like a mash up of TED conferences and community activism. Yup the books are useful but the value is really the ideas and how people come together to share and improve on those ideas and ultimately take action on those ideas to improve the community. If librarians become equated to stockboys stocking books on the shelves which is what the writer mentioned then it's a pretty sad fate for librarianship as a profession. You think they don't get paid well today, it will be worse in the future.

Citation: 1/3/07 WSJ In the Fray: Should Libraries' Target Audience Be Cheapskates With Mass-Market Tastes?

Ok one school down...3 more to go. Upenn went off yesterday and Stanford GSB is next Thursday...then Cal, and Harvard...woah! I haven't seen J work so hard and so passionately for something. I'm super proud of where he is in his career path and super excited of where he wants to go next. I'm dreading living where there is snow...and this time it really is a 2 year stint. IL was really cold and I never thought I'd ever consider living in it again...but you know Ivy league schools are where the snow and cold weather is. And of course everyone wishes for us to stick around; We just hope J gets into any of the schools. As soon as we find out in April, we'll post here for sure so stay tuned!

As for me, 25% done with a knitting project. 2 first cousins will be having babies this year one in early March and another one in mid-May...so I'm knitting up a storm. If you're one of those cousins then you know you're getting something handmade and truly from my heart. Did I mention I was in a knitting craze for holiday gifts for my friend, sisters-in-law, my mom and a cousin. At one point I knitted for 5 hours stretch, which gave me a bad trip afterwards. I couldn't eat or drink, like I had a really bad hangover, a pounding headache and just couldn't stand reading or surfing the net. That had to be the worst trip I've ever had.

Mental note, pace holiday knitting projects throughout the year and not in 2 week marathon. Scope out sales and save up to buy in bulk! Also don't hesitate to mail me some yarn if you'd like me to make a scarf/baby blanket...will start learning how to make sweaters shortly.

I think I've written about the library comic book Unshelved. Well here are some items that Santa did NOT get me this year.

Ok, so I need to drop the 5lbs from the holidays, on top of the 10lbs I gained this past year. I'm beating myself about gaining weight again since when I first lost 50 lbs a couple years ago. It was quite a dramatic lose. Now I'm finding myself trying things on and very disappointed in myself. So I'll be hitting up WW soon to get that 15+lbs off before we hit HI in April.

In addition to the usual sweets we had amazing homemade tamales and enchiladas for Christmas, courtesy of the Rodriguez familia in Lakewood. Two rounds of dim sum with the Chan clan and my immediate family. It didn't help that we found a "Beard Papa's" shop in Monterey Park, we had to get a dozen to share with the M/S families. Ohh was it so good with a cup of fresh ground coffee courtesy of the Ellen Degeneres Show(K and her mom were on the show for 12 days of Christmas, lucky for them they got a Melitta coffeemaker with weather). To top off the M family visit, we got some chorizo omlette burritos. Yummy!!!

Had a great time with the G Clan in San Diego(horror movie, great food, bonding time, gift xchange) and even had some great quality time with cousins and friends transitioning into new phases of their lives.

Unfortunately J didn't get as much time writing as he was hoping while we were in SoCA. Today he is writing like crazy. He's got about one week for Upenn and two weeks for Stanford. Please pray that I don't go crazy over the next couple of weeks. At least one of us has to stay sane!

As for the tv that died in the bathroom, well for Christmas J got a tv tuner/cable card for our media machine. Our media machine has become our pure entertainment machine from music, pictures, videos(more of me from Mt Fuji at 6 months old), dvds, games, and now tv! Woah too extreme, can't handle it.

Gifts were quite interesting this year since we spent many gatherings where children were the main focus. The scariest so far is the Dora Explorer that moved around even if you weren't playing with it. The noisiest has to go to the Toy Story Star Command Blaster gun with no volume control. With a 3 year old blasting away I had no choice but to hide her "favorite toy." Oh no, I think her mom will have to figure out how to disarm her after she finds the toy again. Thanks J for putting packing tape over the speaker of the blaster to soften the blasting. My favorite part of this holiday was playing Santa by preparing all tlhe toys that had to be "delivered" to the little ones where we were staying. It was quite fun and gave me some insights on what little kids like for Christmas. Just the cuteness factor alone in their reaction on Christmas morning was something to be treasured.

Returning to SoCA? Well we looked at some model homes near J&J's house, you really do get ALOT more for your money compared to the value of our house. While the space was nice, we feel somehow that we're more urbanites and living in MP is just temporary. Yes we miss living in HK and now we're wondering where we'll be next. Oh and it didn't help that when we left SJC it was around 55 and arriving in SD it was 75.

Our own gift exchange was very simple, I knitted a scarf for J and we both agreed to sponsor a child in Sri Lanka as a perpetual Christmas gift. She lives in Colombo, a region that was hit by the Boxing Day Tsunami. She's 4 years old and her birthday is in October. Hopefully someday we'll get a chance to meet her. Right now we're trying to figure out what pictures to send her and what to write in our first letter to her.

Pictures to follow shortly!

Generation Y + workforce = mediocrity

Talk amongst yourselves (Despair Inc.)

It's all done. I just got an email that my certificate in Business Administration from UC Berkeley Extension is on its way. J thinks we should celebrate. Does this mean party at Chez Chan? Not sure since the holidays are around the corner and everyone's dance card is full. Perhaps a meld of book swap and certificate celebration? We'll see. I just wanted to just write that I'm glad to be done with it and let's see where it takes me next...

angel investing
investment banking
product management

Email me (lchan at mywhine.com) what you think...

It took me a while to get the photos off the camera...oh well here are some to pass the late fall day...

ePhysician get together at the Elephant Bar, October 2006
Always fun to see a fun bunch of folks from J's previous company.

SF Auto Show, November 2006
Not as exciting this year however it was nice to see the new lines of hybrids. As you went down the escalators at Mascone the Tesla was on display, the electric sports car famous because the Google boys funded it. One booth advertising electric two passnger vehicles even had a George W impersonator with his own secret service type bodyguards. Overall auto shows are not as fun as they used to be...or better yet nothing like the Detroit Auto Show we went to a few years ago. Or it could be that we're really not into cars as we used to.

Peter White Christmas at the Ritz Carlton, Half Moon Bay, November 2006
Video will be posted shortly. Need to edit and upload. Looks can be deceiving, I thought Mindy wasn't going to be able to keep up with Rick & Peter. I was so wrong. She really knew how to jam and had a great voice too. We're going to hunt down some of her music, it was a great medley of holiday tunes and some of each of the musicians signature pieces. A nice intimate indoor setting, and we were only 3 rows back center. The show was really a nice way to get into the holiday season.

Archie McPhee has temporary Librarian Tattoos

Pretty funny description...

"It used to be that librarians were considered the quiet mousy type, but not anymore! Today's librarians are a rough and rowdy crowd of rugged individualists that are as unique as they are unstereotypical! These Librarian Temporary Tattoos will allow them to show the world exactly how idiosyncratic they are and then, after seeing the world's confused look, they can help the world look up idiosyncratic in the dictionary at the reference desk. Literate 4 Life!"

I don't know who is more nervous, me or J? He's doing his GMAT test right now and all day I've been cleaning like crazy. I put things away in the garage, broke down some boxes, cleaned up the carpet and put things away. In the bathroom I was going to start scrubbing the marble and tile. I was even considering hand scrubbing the linoleum(which I really hate because it makes my forearms hurt alot). When I'm stressed, anxious or nervous I tend to clean alot...during my finals in college I would scrub the grossest pots and floors to a nice shine. Perhaps I have elements of obsessive compulsive behaviors but there's definitely a zen quality to cleaning. It's all about control too and as you know me already I always want to have things organized into cute little categories or in their own place. Well in an hour J should be getting home and now my tummy is always starting to act up. It feels like I'm taking the test right now! I wonder if J and I have that Elliott/ET thing going on where we're super connected.

There are moments when I'm waiting for a reply, a returned call, or something to print and I click Guess-the-Google to pass the couple of minutes. It's addictive and quite amuzing since the goal is to reverse engineer the image results for Google by identifying the keywords.

We're on the border of Atherton and sometimes we cut through a particular street to get to Middlefield to get to our neighborhood. Somehow today I turned into this street and there were several cop cars at either ends of the street. At first I thought it was something horrible that happened. But no ambulances or roadblocks. I was imaginging that in one of those mansions there was some political campaigner or bigwig executive having a fundraiser lunch or something. They had me stop and I told them I lived in the neighborhood. Yeah right me in my little dinky Honda just passing through Atherton to go to Menlo Park. It looked like there were a couple "agent" looking folks. I figured they were agents because of the earpieces dangling from their ear. And no it was not an ipod thing. The last time I saw these types of folks was when Chelsea was still on campus. I'm so curious to hear who was the celebrity in my neighborhood requiring all the security detail. I'll scour the news tomorrow. There has to be some write up somewhere.

I'm done with my final. I had great time management the past 2 weeks and didn't have to do work this week!!!! I know many have been praying for me since I really felt peace in the morning. 3 hours and 30 questions turned out to be ok. I actually only used a little over 2 hours and recognized many of the questions from the unit quizzes. I have to wait about a week for the results, but I felt really good about it. Celebrated with J over lunch and now I'm going to go crash.

...would have been due towards the end of this month. So if I choose not to hold your baby I hope you understand. I LOVE babies and kids. Just still a tough time for me.

I'm getting closer to completing the certificate in business administration...and J is ramping up applying for b-school. We've been both sitting at the kitchen table the last several days. The final exam is 2 days away and I've been studying all day today, and actually for the past 2 weeks. My brain is going to explode soon. I've skimmed the chapters, reviewed all my quizzes, did extra problem sets, reread formulas, and reviewed objectives. I'm so anxious right now. I guess I should skip the latte(which I don't really drink) before the exam which of course is 3 hours with 30 multiple choice questions. I should schedule a nice lunch and spa treatment afterwards... details after Friday on results.

I'm really excited to get this done and over with. I can get back to my knitting projects, visiting with friends, maybe take some cooking lessons, and best of all get back to working on my cover letters to the publishers and revising my lizard story. I'm hoping to start submitting to the publishers by Thanksgiving or even try submitting to some children's writing contests. We'll see. I'm taking everything one step at a time.

I don't know why but whenever I enter a store that is full to the brim of goods I get really nauseous. I remember a recent trip to Home Depot and even Z Gallery and I just felt like throwing up. I don't know if it is the off-gases of new goods or places with lots of stuff gets me all dizzy. Maybe it's like a reverse vertigo. I remember a few years ago I had difficulty going up stairs. I would have to grip the railing and stare hard for each step. Perhaps it's just nature's way of telling me not to go shopping. Sometimes I even get overwhelmed stepping into the department that has a major sale like when Nordstrom's has their half-yearly or anniversary sale, lots of racks out and lots of people. Strange, I think maybe that's why I don't really like shopping.

Menlo Park, CA (August 20, 2006) - Born sometime in the late 1980s T.V. was mounted in the master bathroom of ML & J's house. This past week T.V. met it's untimely demise when somehow its circuits got fried. Fortunately the surge tripped the breaker no big harm to the house however it did cause some lights to go out while nobody was home.

T.V. had a very productive career entertaining house guests, surprising visitors when taking house tours, and keeping the owners well informed of worldly events. T.V. graduated from Hitachi University in Japan where it garnered many awards for price and quality assurance.

No funeral arrangements have been made since it will have to take a couple of strong people to dismount it from the ceiling and wall.

T.V. is survived by its two owners ML & J and remote. They officially have no T.V. in the house now. T.V. will be sorely missed. If you would like to contribute to the T.V. Memorial Fund, please contact me.

SU students are probably starting to return...even though classes probably don't start until the end of September. I wonder why so many kids around? Earlier this week we dined off Uni and had a pleasant evening strolling the avenue. Today we went back for dessert, but got mobbed by a few hundred college students celebrating their "reunion" with friends who went away for the summer. Parking was hellish and just when we were about to head somewhere else a free spot appeared within a couple storefronts of where we were headed.

With the nice cool summer evening we decided to have dessert and just chill outside of the cafe. It was quite noisy with Nola & Old Pro having their loud and obnoxiously fun clientele. Funny thing I could watch Old Pro's flat panel screen from where I was sitting. If someone saw me from the sidewalk they would have thought I was just staring blankly at nothing. But the scene turned quite exciting when some girl with a cowboy hat jumped on a table at Old Pro and started shaking her groove to the people around. I was starting to get sick of the music though, I coulnd't handle 2 Michael Jackson songs in 30 minutes. Also "Thriller" in August is not as fun as in October. People watching wasn't as exciting with my accounting textbook being such a distraction. However there was the usual spectrum of people, double dates where one person obviously was dragged out including the "emergency save me from this date from hell" cell phone call, a couple of people having a heated argument (at one point I was waiting for the water over the head scene), a younge couple very much in love just staring at each other and holding hands exchanging kisses and not even caring about anything around (nope it wasn't me and J), we were people watching or aimlessly studying accounting or sheet music( J's actively involved with a garage band...I'll be joining shortly after my voice returns from a trip to bronchitis).

Overall a nice time out and I'm definitely feeling much better. I had my spicey cocoa again, which I think I can drink all by itself...I hate to see the summer slip away but I'm glad to see my project ending soon. I can't wait to start hanging out with friends for lunch and delving into more books, starting submitting my children's book manuscripts and catching up on my knitting and starting up painting...and of course the garage band. Now I need to get some freshly sharpened pencils, a notebook, and maybe some peechee folders to feel like I'm "back to school."

Beloite College produces this list of cultural trends that incoming freshman are familiar with...this one definitely brought back some interesting memories.

Up late as usual, the past week have been horrible with bronchitis and more in recovery mode. The coughing keeps me from having a restful sleep. What's frustrating is that I have another week coming up of long days...both for work and for BSF...and then a mini-vacation near Pebble Beach...and then full on with BSF as the new year begins. I'm on Unit 8 of 10 and so accounting is almost over! I'm planning to do the final at the end of September and then hopefully get some weekend travels in October and another mission trip during Thanksgiving. I miss the mission field. I feel more at peace doing community and spiritual service. Just a few more days of work and hopfully I will find that peace again.

I can't believe it...it's coming to a reality. I have to face the truth, alcohol makes me sick now. First it was coffee, now it's alcohol. I remember when I first started my summer project I was drinking lattes and coffee but always had a stomachache and hated the after taste, now I'm starting to feel the same with wine. What is this world coming to.

So we arrived a little late, not too interested in the opening act...and then when we tried to scope out some place to park our buns all we saw was a sea of tweeners...bubbles floating above, perhaps the occassional puff of smoke, and tweeners holding up banners, placards and posters proclaiming their devotion to Kelly Kelly Kelly. It was quite a fun concert, definitely a 180 from the D Mode concert a few months ago. I think her pop songs are pretty fun, learned that Break Away was written by Avril L. I like her music as well, but what I really enjoyed was Kelly's bluesy type songs. Somehow her voice was more comfortable with that genre of music. Last row in lawn was ehh...lots of families around and easy access to drinks and exit. Overall definitely a party concert but with lots of 12 year olds :)

I don't know what it is but sometimes I feel like I'm going nuts. Last night I was sitting at my computer doing some work(yup it's back to the old grind of ol') around 8 last night. In one moment, I get these feelings that my desk shook. I turned to J and he didn't feel anything. He said he was just bouncing his leg to the tune of a song. So I look at other signs if there was just an earthquake, you know swaying lights any echoes of swaying. So this morning I checked my local news, part of my daily ritual, and found a quick blurb about an earthquake in Santa Rosa.

So I'm guessing everyone saw the finals of the World Cup...everyone is trying to figure out what would have provoked Zidane so much that he would risk being fouled out after his head butt into Materazzi.

My guess..

Materazzi: "Hey Zidane, your mother drinks California wine."
Zidane: ..walks and then head butts Materazzi in the chest...

This article "Zidane says Materazzi insulted his family" almost lends itself to my guess.

Accounting really kicked my tush, well I took a nap after staring at the numbers and woke up fresh and was able to solve the imbalance in 5 minutes. I guess taking naps really calms you down. I got my score and did really well compared to the first 3 units. I'm pretty excited. So now I'm on unit 5...I'll be halfway done once I get this unit completed...and hopefully everything gets easier! Just in time to take a break with friends on July 4th before one family headed off to Taiwan. We'll miss them alot!

The consulting gig has been absolutely awesome. I'm glad I have a partner and hopefully it will be done when we planned since BSF ramps up in September and being the class administrator comes a lot of to do lists and responsibilities...I'm praying for peace and protection and safety for everyone this summer and coming fall!

I should be doing my Unit 4 quiz which I've been sitting on for a little over a week. I know I should be churning out the units every week so that when August comes I'm done with my certificate. But somehow I'm sitting here singing and playing on the piano STP's "Plush" andPearl Jam's "Black as J is learning the tabs on the guitar. It's actually quite fun to listen and play music while we're taking our music theory class. Who knows maybe we'll be the next songwriting duo :)

Speaking of songwriting, I've been listening to Michelle Chappel's music again. I found out after her return from Europe that her song "So Disappointed" made it close to the finals for a songwriting contest. She's really an amazing person on so many levels. Check out her music while you're at her site.

Ok so about the accounting, while I'm pretty up on the personal accounting stuff, this e-course is really grating on my brains to put together balance sheets and justifying expenses with a budget...come on I'm so sick of pretending to do the books for a wholesale distrubitor of premium european chocolates. Heck, I stopped for a break to eat toaster oven smores and a cup of hot chocolate...see what this unit has done to me...I'm more interested in the products then the numbers. Maybe I should consider a career in quality assurance for a high end chocolate company.

During our trip to LA/OC/SD last weekend we had some interesting conversations with parents of really small kids and kids themselves about the Internet. One mother said that her 2-yr-old already understood how to navigate her favorite Disney sites and could tell when "the Internet was down." I remember hearing from another friend, "Daddy, reboot." Ok what a vocabulary for a young kid. I remember my nephew even asking his uncle about making paper airplanes. My brother told him to go Google it. Amazingly enough the 7 year old was off and running over to Google to find some paper airplane designs. I was still getting to know him and showed off my paper airplane skills and flew them a few times in the backyard. It's quite amazing and I'm still impressed about the really small ones navigating and knowing the cause of why their sites weren't working properly. I can't even imagine what it will be like for us when we have kids...we already don't watch TV so it will be quite interesting.

Interesting article regarding high transfats in Starbucks food and beverages. Sounds like a consumer watch group is going to sue Starbucks about the unhealthy qualities of their drinks and especially their snacks.

Starbucks targeted over high-fat products
I remember writing about this a while ago regarding the high calorie and high fat contents.

So I'm into the 2nd week of my online accounting class. I was surfing like crazy to research the clothing industry's manufacturing process which was kind of fun. Now I'm on a problem that requires that I create a report from scratch. I'm probably doing all the typical things to procrastinate. You know keep getting a glass of water, go to the bathroom, rearrange my desk, rearrange the cupboard, get rid of expired products in the fridge, and even consider doing situps and pushups. I know it sounds pathetic. I know I'm feeling bloated too. So I sit here writing this entry instead of pencil to spreadsheet and just write out the report. Ok I know I have friends and family in accounting but how can you guys do this kind of work? I know for my personal finances I'm pretty much focused but when I have to write a production report for a grinding department for some company that manufactures industrial cleaning compound it's difficult to say I'm really excited. Can you hear the cheerleaders in the background? Quite deafening! Oh well I should definitely finish this up since I need to get into week 3 reading and assignments ahead of the Wallace's visist for several days.

Please think good thoughts for me. This is the LAST class for my certificate in business. I've been dragging so long on this already...just need to get it done and over with...and hopfully will be retained in my brain when I actually need to track costs for consulting/contracting.

I guess mainly I want to whine...there was a low level fog over Shoreline Amph on Thursday night. The low laying fog was of course the sweet smell of some folks' favorite (insert drug of choice). Depsite the nice 80s weather the 80s band(actually started in 1975) failed to lift the spirits of the dead. Ok I'm exaggerating. The band played a few sonds from the latests album and splattering of some hits from previous albums. But I wished they played "blasphemous rumors" "somebody" or even "people are people." Oh well. What was even stranger and very different from the typical concert-goer of the 80s. A nice big parking lot of brand new cars and a stable of mercedes benz/bmws. The crowds really did represent a mix of inter-generational and economic spectrum. And some even looked like possible 2nd generation dmode followers where parents and kids enjoyed the music side by side with cup of beer in one hand and possibly smoking something in their other hand. Definitely great fun to sing along, band had a fun stage presence. I wasn't too impressed with martin's jumping around on stage, but music and vocals definitely still very strong after so many years. Preshow act was just not what I would have expected, each song sounded like it was going to be a cover of either BeeGees, No Doubt, and some other mix of 70s disco/80s new wave/90s electronic or trance scene. Of course I was underdressed, I didn't wear black nor did I wear black eye-liner...2 things that looked like were required for entry.

Some photos of us there.

So of the 2 out of 3 times I've been at Stanford Blood Donation, I've been a roller. Not to be confused with "rolling" (the act of being high on the drug ecstasy). Unfortunately today of all the nice days of the week so far I get a big fat roller in the left arm. The LVN felt so bad she gave me a t-shirt and since I was the last patient they offered the dozen or so cookies left on the table. I'll survive, it's the challenge of having "shy" veins.

Despite the "trauma" of that first sting of the needle, I'm still glad I'm doing this. I've known so many in the past months who have had to have blood transfusions and so it is a very personal task for me. I challenge you in your workplace to get a blood donation drive together or perhaps you try to donate some blood. There is always a need for donation. You will definitely make a difference in so many lives.

Stanford Blood Donation

Ok hard to believe but Daylight Savings begins this weekend. With all the rain recently it's even harder to believe that we're in spring. My biggest challenge right now is getting out of my dark days...with all the bad weather I'm wondering if it's affecting my mood and add to that my miscarriage...ok someone tell me I'm not just having a bad nightmare.

Went to Little Fox Theatre's bi-monthly blues jam session and had a wonderful time. A nice mix of young and old performers. I was just happy to be enjoying live music in the middle of the week. Reminded me of my fun days with K/D and others hanging out at Spag's.

In all my many days of attending blues and jazz fesitvals today was the first time I saw a woman perform in a blues jam session. And what was more interesting was she as playing the drums in a long skirt. I would have never guessed she was a drummer by the way she dressed or looked. She looked more like a librarian or grandmother type and she was pretty good. I hope to see her perform again it was quite fun.

So we took a 2 day vacation into the city since J was off for the whole week and we wanted to spend some quality time together since the miscarriage. It's been a very challenging few weeks but I'm actually having a difficult time trying to get out of a funk with a cold layered on with food poisoning or motion sickness. I wanted so bad to just spend a quiet day hanging in the city but couldn't shake the nausea. All in all it was a nice time with our former housesitter, J's cousin who put us up at the Hotel Nikko, and quiet time together. Now I need to catch up on housework and laundry ;)

I guess I needed something to feel like in control during the ordeal of the past few weeks. So I chopped my hair shorter than shoulder length. It was just past the middle of my back but always tied it into a ponytail since I was always at the gym, running around doing errands with little or no time to "fix" it up. So now that's it short I just literally wash and go. I think I want it a little shorter but not sure yet.

Remember way back when in 1999-2001, Altavista ventured into portal land to go up against Yahoo and created "Live!"

Well guess who's rebranding their portal and renaming it "Live!"?

Microsoft Rebrands MSN to Focus on Content

How funny!

Gosh this week didn't start well and it seems that it only got worse over time...there are of course some highlights of spending quality time with some women I've gotten to know more over the last 6 months. But the negatives are definitely a heavier burden when there are 3 big things you want so bad to turn out right.

In other areas of my life it seems that God is listening and watching out for folks in my life...I pray that continues...I'm just hoping that things turn out better for me in the next few days or I'll really turn into a mess. I think I'm at the lowest and I'm hoping that something will turn around.

Update on car accident: things were settled and a cut was check...I can't remember if I wrote about it. J and are fine and the car will be getting new doors shortly. J is of course looking for good deals and plans to replace them himself.

PS: The book exchange was a success and some have highly suggested of having another one before summer...you know before you head off for those nice long vacations to get away from work(sorry I can't relate) and stock up on a new batch of books.

Don't get me wrong I totally enjoy many cultures and languages but I've come to this point when I can't find the right words in one language I remember it in another language. I can definitely get my Cantonese, Spanish, and even a bit of Tagalog and Hebrew all mixed up.

I'm confused.

I can be up 100% and in 2 weeks down to 20%...argh.

On top of bad news from client side...this past week has been horrible.

On the happy side, the book exchange was a really fun event. I have thoughts for next time but all around it was great to see the books and pick up a few for myself. It was a blast.

I've been with my laptop for over 2 years. Yup it's pretty out of date but I figured by now my expectations is it would know what I want. Yes ubiquitous computing is big. It has been for several years since I was in grad school. But what I'm wanting is not "clippy" I want my machine to understand my habits. I'm a creature of habit when it gets to using my laptop. Every morning pretty much the same except when I'm on the road. But I just realized why doesn't my computer "learn" my habits and anticipate those needs...and I'm not implying the anticipated needs that MS Word or Excel does for you...it's beyond that...but why couldn't really learn? I'm wondering if I'm at the point where I should swap out to a new machine but I like my stickers on my laptop, all the goofy things that I've grown to love about this machine. I'm not materially obsessessed with it just that it's like a sort of world lifeline...it keeps me connected to things beyond the 5 blocks around my house. I'd probably have a dull life since I don't really watch tv either. Oh well.

First it was video rentals at the supermarket. Well most folks are doing Netflix now and most of these small video rental spaces or machines don't carry much. Then we started to see small bank branches at the front. There are some supermakets with drycleaners too but with a load of laundry and cart full of food, it's a tricky balance.

However the one combo that I think would be more convenient is Starbucks and drycleaners. Most folks are at Starbucks every day, what a great way to pickup/dropoff your laundry while getting your coffee in the morning. It's quite easy one hand coffee(or fill in your brew of choice) and one hand drycleaning. How easy is that!